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Roxy

Volunteer Manager Complaining I'm Unreliable?

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Roxy

Basically the place I volunteer for the manager there has said she wants a chat with me about what days I'm coming in as she doesn't know when I'm in to volunteer.. but I've explained to her I have Aspergers and structure is difficult for me like somedays I'm depressed and just stay in bed or stay up all night so tired the next day etc

The place needs volunteers so surely me doing any days is better then nothing!? if she's needing me to guarantee on certain days (like I'm paid contract rota staff) I can't do that!? I work hard when IO'm there but there's a reason I'm not paid staff (and if I was maybe more incentive to go in) so why is the manager continueing to push me like I am? she either 1. expects a lot from me or 2. exploiting my good nature by trying to make me feel bad.. like even when I went in on the days I said before she's always pushed me like "can you come in this weekend I'll be on my own? etc" been really nice and I felt like emotional blackmailed as she's really nice.. but then if I do that it burns me out so then it means I won't go in on somedays I said etc.

what should I do? should I quit? I don't want to be exploited and have to adhere to such a structured approach when I'm already overachieving by doing what I do.. it is like I'm taken for granted now and almost expected to go in etc.. but I don't want to be volunteer forever I need paid eventually.

 

Anyone have any advice? thanks

Edited by Roxy

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Nesf

Three things occur to me on reading this post.

1. It sounds like you have depression, and that is what is causing these issues rather than Asperger's. If you are to continue working, you need help for this. Perhaps you could speak to your GP? Obviously, your mental health should come first, sorting the depression out is top priority.

2. If this lady is running a shop and has several members of staff, then yes, she does need to organise a timetable and be able to rely on her staff being able to come in at pre-arranged times. Not turning up will probably put her in a difficult position, as she might not have the staff necessary for the shop and might need to ask another member of staff to come in and cover for you, so it is reasonable for her to ask this of you. If you want to continue working there, you do need to be able to guarantee that you can go at certain times. If you feel that you can't do this, then you probably should give up the job, or take a break from it until you have dealt with the depression. As for staying up late, if that's a reason why you are not going, that is something that you need to work on changing - it is reasonable to expect that they might make some accommodations for you, but you will also need to make some accommodations for them for it to work, a compromise - work on changing your daily routine so you don't go to bed so late, for example. Keeping a job, even volunteering, deos require a certain level of committment on your part.

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Gone away
22 hours ago, Roxy said:

I don't want to be exploited and have to adhere to such a structured approach when I'm already overachieving by doing what I do.. it is like I'm taken for granted now and almost expected to go in etc.. but I don't want to be volunteer forever I need paid eventually.

Well if you were paid you would need to be reliable. I'd see voluntary as therapeutic, work history and practice for paid work ... which includes dependability paid or not ... however you cannot help ill health. Do you know whats getting on top of you?
Are there any pattern or triggers to your depression or late nights?
Are you doing enough recreational interests to recharge?
Sometimes when alot on,  I forget to pursue interests and get depressed, but I realise these interests give strength of mind if I kick myself to do them.

I suppose options are different days, shorter days, late or early shifts, or less days to see if you can get a sweet spot rota wise that you can manage.
Leaving is another option, but the dead time may not be useful health or momentum wise so if thats a direction  I would try and get an alternative placement first so you can keep things rolling without momentum grinding to a halt.
Managers all have different styles to getting shifts filled ... the sickly sweet emotional blackmail is probably one of the better styles once you can defend yourself from having your heartstrings twanged and be able to assert your availability while keeping flexibility well within your limitations.
People always push for more, so availability wise I would leave a safe margin for yourself that you can commit to and make sure you pursue your interests that recharge you.
You seem to have done well so far ...

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