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RiRi

[Sensitive] I want to make a cry for help.

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RiRi

Sometimes I feel so hopeless and like no one is helping me. I do feel like killing myself from time to time. I have this urge of going out from wherever I am and just jumping in front of a car or throwing myself from a building or hanging myself or just slashing my arms but I haven't done it mainly because of the people I would leave behind and because of things I still have that I wouldn't want people to see once I'm dead.

I have a plan in my head to slash my arms and call 911 some time after. This would be my cry for help because people think I'm incapable of killing myself and because I feel like people aren't helping me. I know there's a risk of dying so I will prepare for it. I will throw away everything and anything that I don't want others to see when I'm gone.

I feel like I've tried everything already. I tried to get help but no one wants to help me. So if someone helps me before I do this then great, if not then, oh well. But this is my plan for now, I don't know if it will change to just slashing and not calling 911 because I'd thrown away anything I didn't want people to see once I'm dead. I don't know how badly my urge will become when I'm in that state.

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Dr-David-Banner

Don't do it. It's not the answer. My best friend took his life years ago and to me it always seemed a huge waste of his life. Despite his faults and depressions, he was a decent person and often good to have around.
Ultimately self image is what matters. It's important to focus on the positives about yourself and build up some confidence. Often I see it as a duty to see the good things about myself to keep a sense of perspective.

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Harrow

I'm laying on my bed crying at the moment because I can't take my life and I feel like dying too, I came close a few minutes ago. But people like you stop me. I remember a time we where good friends and we spoke about a lot of things and even though we didn't always agree on everything, I remember feeling you where a good amazing friend and knowing  you has always made my life better. I know we haven't spoken in a very long time and that makes me a terrible person, because I take it for granted your always going to be here. But I am here for you Anna. We can get through this together. I want to do everything in my power to help you 

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RiRi

@Dr-David-Banner I'm sorry that he took his life. :( The thing about me is that I feel like there's no future for me. I'm not successful in life and sometimes I even feel like I cause conflict everywhere I go and for those and other reasons I should be dead. :( 

@Harrow I'm sorry about that. :( Your post made me emotional. I'm sorry that you're feeling suicidal. I'm sorry for the times we fought and for the times we didn't understand each other or for the times I didn't understand you. I had forgotten about those times but I have to tell you that I hope that you remain alive and well because you're a good person, you care about others, and because you have a lot to offer to this world.

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Harrow

Don't apologize, so we argued sometimes me and my sister fight all the time I still love her. And I still care about you. We can't always agree. But I also always appreciated that about you, you stand up for yourself if you believe in something. That Anna is a mark of a strong woman who can achieve anything. So you have a lot to offer this world. Don't ever doubt that. Remember I've spoken to you I know you ☺

Remember you did so much for me, you where always there when I was down or sad or needed a friend. You stood up for me no matter what. People need you, I still need you. 

 

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Dr-David-Banner

"The thing about me is that I feel like there's no future for me. I'm not successful in life and sometimes I even feel like I cause conflict everywhere I go and for those and other reasons I should be dead."
The future is very uncertain for me too. My friends all have their own families and jobs. I don't have any job and am pretty much dependent upon myself. Still, I learned over time to believe in my own value which is important where others may not see value in deviation from the norm. I'm sure you have many positive personality traits and your own value to offer. So, I hope you will feel better and in time come to see better things may lie ahead. Don't take the path of self-harm but do talk to others and seek support. Hopefully it will pass.

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Nesf

Please don't do that. Harming yourself does just that - harm yourself. Killing yourself just means that you are dead, and that doesn't solve anything. Talking to people and working through your issues with them will help. You will always have my support, you can PM me whenever you want.

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Sanctuary

I would echo what everyone has said - don't hurt yourself RiRi and get help. Things can always improve. Telling people how you feel is always a good first step. Treatments such as medication and therapy can help with problems such as depression but ultimately the best solution is to deal with the roots of the condition. If for example financial problems are the cause of depression these need to be addressed. Practical help is always the best solution. I appreciate many of these problems are hard to solve but they can be overcome. It's important that the people who can deal with your specific problems know how you're feeling. The great majority of such people are willing to help - give them that opportunity, don't give up. I hope you feel better soon. 

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Gone away

I totally sympathise with strong feelings / impulses of wanting to end life, but I think you are being incredibly selfish and attention seeking here.
Apart from causing untoward public drama, somebody is going to be very traumatised finding a body - so think of them and whether you have the right to traumatise others .. and think of their families trying to support their family member traumatised. There is always an expanding ripple effect to all actions.
Hurting yourself just to get attention is very very wrong on all levels 

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