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RiRi

How are your relationships with your exes?

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RiRi

To those of you who have dated/had a girlfriend/boyfriend/etc., do you still talk to your ex? Do you have a good relationship with them? Why? Or do you no longer talk to them? Do you hate them? Why?

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Primeape

No I don't hate them 

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Heather

I do not hate them but barely talk to them. Initially it was because I was hurt and I had to heal.  Now it is because I do not want to get too close to them. I like the occasional message back and forth because it is nice for me to hear what they are up to but I keep it more distant and professional and have to maintain clear boundaries of things we can talk about and things off limits because I have to protect myself from getting dragged down again. 

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RiRi

I don't hate my exes but I don't talk to them. I wish I would have never dated them. 

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Heather

@RiRi I understand the feeling. Though remember that every part of our past, good and bad, shape who we are today. I know at the very least my ex showed me what I did NOT want in a boyfriend/partner which is still useful even if the lesson came with pain. Despite that there are times I wish I never dated my ex but then am reminded that I learned from that experience and that made me a better person even if I wish it didn't happen at the same time.

I hope that did not confuse you.  Just wanted to share in case it helps you in any way. Otherwise, I am sorry.

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MrGrey

I feel fine about most of my exes.  I have a few on facebook still.  Is like just old friends from high-school.  Two of them were bitter about the past so I let them go.  

There is ONE though, that's a constant fight every time.  But it's an entire new category when you have kids with said ex.  It's like, whatever you do, your ex tries to one-up.  Like it's a competition or something.  

 

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Ben

I saw my ex on the train, back in November - for the first time in six years? Anyway, when I saw her again, it was like looking at an old photo album. The person I was when I last saw her is a million miles from the person I am now, so it was surreal to look at her and not really feel anything beyond a slight sense of nostalgia. She had a great big rock on her ring finger too - I didn't ask, because it's obvious. And I didn't want to draw attention to it because it would have been an arranged marriage. (Our love was forbidden in her culture.) I hope she had some say in it though, if not making the sovereign choice. She's a nice girl. A real peace lover who taught me a great deal. 

I've been single since 2011 - I knew I just wasn't emotionally mature enough to pursue anyone after her. So I've been on a mission for self- improvement everyday since. And when you build on that for enough years, you end up with nothing else to do but to aggressively tick off the bucket list and get shit done - that then gives you satiety and fulfillment. More than any partner can offer. So I've been perfectly happy. 

I don't want to sound like 'that guy' but I have pretty much ticked everything off my bucket list - bar a couple of things which I'm actively working on. I just haven't had a girlfriend for six years, but d.i.l.l.i.g.a.f. I wouldn't be as happy as I am now if I got back into a relationship after her.

That bucket list is due for a review though. It never ends, it just changes.

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Miss Chief

I don't hate them but I also have nothing to do with them, we don't talk and we're not friends on social media, if I bumped into them I would be polite but I have zero interest in talking to them or catching up, they're in the past.

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nichii

I'm friends with my ex and we get along fine. We were friends before we dated, but we fought a lot while we were dating. We tried dating two different times and it didn't work out. She's had a few boyfriends since we broke up and it's pretty hard sometimes seeing her date other guys. I don't think she has feelings for me anymore, but I still kind of do for her. We seem to do better when we're just friends though and I'm okay with that. We're best friends and she's the only real friend I have. 

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