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Dr-David-Banner

THE DISTORTION OF ASPERGER'S

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Dr-David-Banner

You do have prosopagnosia which is common with autism but I am baffled how you developed the other symptoms. How about coordination? Were ball games an issue at school? What about schizoid personality where the subject perceives no differences and feels little emotion? When you found you had MPD do you know how many alters there are? 

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Dr-David-Banner

I want to say it's very strange I had that drowning accident years ago. Just like in Carnival Of Souls. I was  pretty close to death and my body only jolted when I was pulled out. The other strange co-incidence was I played organ. So, it adds up to a drowning accident, happening to play organ and a life-long feeling of not belonging to the world. Also, not only do I feel invisible but I have genuine experiences of not being detected. It's as if people are just very weakly receptive to my appearance. The only thing I don't have in common with Candice is I don't see ghouls although even that did happen once. A man in overalls. In some ways too I see the funny side. The part of the film that made me laugh was the woman-mad Mr Linden who had no idea Candice was sort of between two realities. During the scene at the bar he snaps at her: "You don't like the music. You don't drink. You don't like to dance. And you don't like for.a man to hold you close!"

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nichii
9 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

You do have prosopagnosia which is common with autism but I am baffled how you developed the other symptoms. How about coordination? Were ball games an issue at school? What about schizoid personality where the subject perceives no differences and feels little emotion? When you found you had MPD do you know how many alters there are? 

I wish I knew. I think it's partly due to some negative symptoms of schizophrenia. I've had a few head injuries, so that may be related as well. Possibly concussions or closed head injuries. I believe a lot of my symptoms and conditions, like prosopagnosia and topographical agnosia are the result of something wrong with my temporal lobe. Maybe injury or damage to my temporal lobe area. DID/MPD is believed to have something to do with the temporal lobe as well. I had pretty poor coordination growing up. I've considered I may have dyspraxia, but I'm not sure. I haven't been diagnosed, but I do suspect that I have schizoid personality disorder and I'm diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. I believe I have AvPD with some schizoid traits. I don't know how many alters I have because many of them aren't very distinctive. It's difficult to tell just how many there are, but I do have several. 

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Dr-David-Banner

You appear to be understanding more about yourself. There is a philosopher called Jiddu Krishnamurti who stated that to find the truth, look inside yourself. This is what I learned by myself and over the years. What I do is sort of freeze everything and adopt my psychologist role (as if observing), and very carefully try to describe how I feel, since when and ask why or how. I now fully understand what I experience and the extent if differs from normality. I also have a less politically correct view of Asperger Syndrome as I read a fair amount of criminal psychology files. I found AS is no different to either schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder or MPD in as much it sometimes is found in criminal profiles (as in mental illness). Here we have to tread carefully though. Although some criminal cases involved schizophrenia, schizophrenia was typical of countless genius musicians. Brian Wilson is schizophrenic yet a super talented musician and harmless guy. My point I guess is all psychiatric conditions can occasionally gather a destructive momentum, possibly aggravated by former abuse. That is another of my points: it seems so many of us suffered abuse due to being abnormal. Brian Wilson was beaten with a coathanger and worse from his father. I would like people to stop looking Aspergers as a sort of one dimensional "bed of roses" condition but realise it is occasionally destabilising. Actually I think percentage wise we do fall below NTs (lesser criminality) in our ranks but we are just not perfect specimens apart from other groups. Last point too I think the criminal psychologists misunderstand empathy. They view lack of empathy as a dangerous step towards criminality. I really disagree. When a tragic accident takes place I don't tend to cry and get emotional as other people expect. I will just think of cause, effect and solution. Often a lack of empathy is just analytical over-rides emotion. This is a far cry from the psychopath who charms people with good social skills but deep down will have no regard for life or ethics.

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Dr-David-Banner

Rather than barge in too much on the Hans Asperger Nazi thread, I think it does bring home what I tried to say here. When I first realised Asperger Syndrome had dominated my life, I was reading a lot of material and came to see it all as a badge of honour. I am still today not ashamed of my AS but I do see it now from the dark and lighter perspectives. Yes, Hans Asperger was working under the Nazi regime and, in reality, described the children as "little professors" but also highlighted some negative points. Such as bottled up anger. Somehow, modern psychology started to almost hush up the darker material and totally stress all the positive things. Although a big part of AS is for many a personality disorder, this aspect got stressed a lot to the point it became also a neurodiversity movement. This gave it a kind of plus that OCD or schizophrenia never had. In many ways I think T Atwood tended to stress the positive traits so that Hans Asperger and his studies became remote. Although people are shocked by the blunt observations made by Asperger I do think he did have the intelligence to deduce euthanasia of all those children would be folly. Studies showed they offered actual potential. Likewise it doesn't help me to be misled by modern psychology to the effect AS is a nerd syndrome, shared by the likes of Darwin and Spielberg. I've struggled with serious anger issues, lack of emotion, maybe a bit selfish even. I now know the bottled up anger described by Asperger is far better addressed. The empathy issue runs deep and very hard to deal with but, sure, at times I feel ashamed of being so cold and I admire NT friends who tend to be able to think more about others. AS hasn't made me a nice person but, on the other hand, I love animals and have my pluses. 

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Sanctuary

I don't think there is much evidence that ASD is regarded positively in society - quite the opposite unfortunately. Even in the literature written by experts autism is portrayed largely in terms of the problems it causes to those who have it. Many in society still regard those on the spectrum as "defective" people who struggle to function. I don't deny there are efforts to redress the balance and offer a more positive portrayal but it tends to be overwhelmed by the focus on negatives. A few people have a romanticised, stereotypical view of the "funny geek" with ASD but the reality they find much less attractive. There are also the attempts to redress the balance by claiming certain famous people from now or in the past have ASD despite the fact that almost none of these have ever been diagnosed and probably few of them are / were on the spectrum at all. I find those attempts particularly patronising. Even the language we use - still talking often of "autism spectrum disorder" or of it as a "disability" which needs to be "diagnosed" like an illness - suggests that autism is still far from seen as a positive thing. The fact that many with ASD - like yourself and myself - feel they can only reveal their status to those they know will be supportive suggests we still have a long way to go.

As regards bottled-up anger, I'm not sure this is essentially a "symptom" (or should that be "characteristic"?) of autism.  I think it is quite understandable for someone who is facing difficulties in life for any sort of reason to feel frustrated and angry. Letting out those feelings is prohibited and even talking about them can be frowned-upon so they are bottled-up, although they do occasionally emerge. The same feelings afflict those off the spectrum who face problems such as depression, anxiety, bullying, exploitation and oppression. 

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Dr-David-Banner

Nobody is sure if bottled up anger is a symptom. Paul Cooijman believes it is caused as a by-product from difficult lives. I believe it is one of the symptoms as I can describe it. It is caused by pressure over either direct ridicule or (more typically), just being excluded in tiny ways. Or maybe through stuff like being perceived as weird, unsuitable, stupid and so on. This amounts to huge personal stress. It may create paranoia. As I see it, the way the mind is wired, anger has to be rationalised from within. Why do I feel this anger? So, a target is produced. One very common one is NTs. I myself had this anger and even bitterness towards NTs and I've seen others who, to some degree, felt the same.  It isn't common on Asperclick but we sometimes had people who felt this way (myself on occasions). It may be other things, though. Politicians, for example. I am not sure why Asperger also threw in the term "grim sadism". Did the children sometimes explode in tantrums or did they seem to show no empathy? Anyway, suffice it to say I am glad I started to see myself not simply a victim. I understand what bottled up anger is and why it arises. I don't beat myself up over it - it was a logical response to stress and insecurity. Simply, I had to take into account that, at the end of the day, people are pack animals and they are programmed to "preserve the status quo" of the group. If the AS is milder, this will mean occasional strains in friendships or failure to get promoted. If the AS is severe, exclusion may be at the "ugly duckling" level (Hans Anderson was autistic). Conclusion: bottled up anger I think can be managed. It may always surface at intervals as it's a defensive mechanism. Not all autists have bottled up anger. They may simply cry or rock or scream. My hope for the future is to develop more inner stability and learn to be more patient of negativity around and able to accept myself as I am. 

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Dr-David-Banner

Posted on the Russian autism forum. One woman stated there is every chance Asperger Syndrome will transform into a different diagnosis with Hans Asperger tactfully left aside. What we debated was the AS as a personality type which modern psychology has emphasised above AS as a real neurological deviation akin to psychopathy. At this time I relate more to AS as a grave deviation than a class of personality. And I still suspect there is more than one type of AS. It could well be AS exists as a normal personality as well as a disorder.

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Dr-David-Banner

Not sure if I have time or if it's worth the effort to make a website purely based on Asperger's work. It does differ though from modern psychology. The emphasis was on how the autistic symptoms were making school impossible. A heck of a lot is wrapped around processing information and Asperger tries to improve social interaction. The symptoms that come up most are learning difficulties and poor motor co-ordination. As well as conflict and withdrawel. Asperger often compares to schizophrenia. 

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Dr-David-Banner

OK so on my new autism research site I am hoping to base most of it on the original work of Dr Hans Asperger. I am closer now to finishing his original papers that were used by Lorna Wing when the Asperger diagnosis first came to be around 1989. All I read seems to indicate Asperger did far more good than harm and helped many. This however was an era of war and radicalism. Yes, modern psychology has distorted Asperger because I see his work and priority very different to the conception modern psychology gave. Here is a sample question, designed along the lines of what Asperger did: If we square any number above 1 then we get a bigger digit so if we square 10 (multiply 10 by 10)we get 100. I just use my calculator.Yet if we square numbers below 1 it gets interesting. The question here is: If we square 0.25 how do you see the relationship of the second number to the first. Especially with regard to unity (1). The secret with this is to relax as there is no trap or trickery. To clarify 2nd number = 0.25.

Edited by Dr-David-Banner

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