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Squirt

Help!!! In-laws gatherings

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Squirt

Hi everyone,

I haven’t been on here for a while as I have had a lot to cope with. I have recently got married and that was hard enough. 

Myself and my partner have been invited to a family birthday bbq which is in a couple of weeks. There will be all my partners family there (parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunties and uncles) it is about an hour away. 

The problems I am facing are that I have really bad stomach issues (suspected IBS) and really bad social anxiety. My partner isn’t putting any pressure on me but I know that my OH would love me to go, I know I would feel so uncomfortable and worry I will have an accident (Bowel issues) I also cannot eat around other people. 

If anyone has any experiences with this please tell me how you cope...

Many thanks :) 

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Peridot

That's a hard situation… This type of thing is one my fears, you know? To feel trapped the way you do. Or to have this inevitable horror approaching with no way to escape it.

Try breathing exercises. Be mindful/aware of how you talk to yourself in your mind. You can try to steer it in a positive direction. It makes a big difference. Try not to be too hard on yourself for whatever it is that you think people will criticize you for.

Good luck...

Edited by Peridot

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Sanctuary

I also find social events involving food difficult Squirt, worry a lot before they take place, wonder about not going but also worry about how others will react if I don't attend. Often the anticipation of these events is much worse than what actually happens but it is difficult to endure a long period of anxiety in the run-up. If you have stomach problems you do have a legitimate reason for not eating or eating little at the event and I'm sure if you mention this people will understand. The social aspect is hard as well. I feel a good compromise would be to go but for a short time - the stomach problems and feeling unwell would give you reason to skip the event but going for at least a short time given those problems will be appreciated by others.

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Squirt

Thank you Peridot and Sanctuary :) 

The only thing that worries me is that my partner would like to stay for the majority of the day and I am unable to drive there and back as it is too far and too complicated for me. That would make situations worse for me. 

I feel like I am in a catch-22 situation. 

Many thanks :)

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HalfFull

Can you negotiate time out at some point in the middle? eg, an hour?  Heres a crafty get-out clause for taking a breather. Take up geocaching (a bit like treasure hunting), find out what geocaches are close to where you're going to be, and set out to find them. Even if you're not really that interested in the geocaching itself, it gives you an excuse for taking a break!

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