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Rhys

Relationships with an NT

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Sofi

Good blog post Willow 😀

 

Edited by Sofi
I deleted my previous post as I felt really anxious and traumatised about it, sorry :(

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RiRi

I guess the takeaway here is that every person is different, whether NT or not, whether aspie or not. 

As a person, I do dwell on a lot of things but I know other aspies who don't or at least don't seem to (maybe they do and just keep it to themselves). I would think it's common for the aspie to do this because of social interaction but I don't know.

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Ben
3 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

I will probably be single too mainly due to severe career restrictions. It wouldn't be fair to take on a girlfriend while I'm still in my own detatched space. I see myself a carbon copy of the character in Carnival Of Souls. It's good for music though.

I just really enjoy my life, and relish all of the opportunities I can create for myself. And do you know what? I'd probably derive as much nostalgia talking to you about the time I got lost in the middle of Tokyo in the hammering rain (without a coat or brolly), as a couple would talking about their first date - different doesn't necessarily mean unequal. 

I think through travelling the world and living on my own, I've developed a nailed on relationship with myself. I've possibly written myself off from ever forming a healthy relationship with a woman, but I know that and understand it. Which is why I'd never put a woman through that, it wouldn't be fair. 

 

 

 

 

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RiRi

@Ben If you really want to be in a relationship, you'll be in one. If you don't, there's huge chances you won't. Relationships can be weird and if your partner is understanding of you, I think it will be okay if you take a run to the far east end or whatever, or if you put them through icing cold rain or whatever. You don't seem like a crazy person to me, you don't have crazy tendencies from what I've seen of you on the forum. And I think as long as you don't have those qualities you're good to be in a healthy enough relationship. 

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HalfFull

I've had 3 girlfriends but can't say for sure that any were NT. I know that 2 were Aspies since I met both on sites similar to this. I think in both cases due to my AS I was unable to keep up with support needs that they had due to their AS. That doesn't mean that I couldn't manage another relationship with an Aspie, but it just seems to take me longer to know when or even if I need to support an AS girlfriend, so it could well be that it would work better with an NT girlfriend, but I think every Aspie and every NT is different. The other girl could be Aspie and probably has mild learning difficulties. Hence, I don't know for sure how it would be with an NT girlfriend.

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Dr-David-Banner

I am not ready for relationships at this time (maybe never) but I have learned neurotypicals can be definitely kinder and less selfish than (say myself). I used to have this very bad image of NTs, caused by instances of intolerance (at school, for example). Now I have a few friends who are very normal and capable socially and, all in all, they are nice,.hard-working people. The one I admire most is a young mother who had had an abusive father (alcohol), and had lost her mother at around 15. This girl is very employable, reliable, popular and kind-hearted. They aren't close friends as such but friends at least who showed me qualities I never developed. Although being autistic helped me focus more than normal on my interests, I believe we "all" have huge potential regardless of neurological wiring. My friends tend to be busier than I am and I guess they share more of their lives. In short, having a neurotypical boyfriend or friends is a great way to develop more complete "self-balance". I tend to have very low emotional empathy but, despite that, we do need to work on those areas. I watch how my friends tend to project a bit more warmth and I then can see how cold and mechanical I can be. So far as friends go I like genuine people who have values of honesty and open (not uppity). However the problem I still have is most of my friends have sometimes gotten angry over my emotional blindness  or inability to do simple things. I also get told off over stuff like stinky socks.

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Asgardian

I don't picture myself ever being in a relationship, with someone on or off the spectrum. I respect anyone who can be in a relationship successfully because they look very stressful but equally so I don't think relationships are for everybody. They certainly aren't for me.

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Ben
22 hours ago, RiRi said:

@Ben If you really want to be in a relationship, you'll be in one. If you don't, there's huge chances you won't. Relationships can be weird and if your partner is understanding of you, I think it will be okay if you take a run to the far east end or whatever, or if you put them through icing cold rain or whatever. You don't seem like a crazy person to me, you don't have crazy tendencies from what I've seen of you on the forum. And I think as long as you don't have those qualities you're good to be in a healthy enough relationship. 

They do say that when you meet your own reflection in someone else that you have met the person you should marry, so I remain open to that. 

 

But I won't go looking. I'm happy. 

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Asgardian
49 minutes ago, Ben said:

But I won't go looking. I'm happy. 

More people need to follow this ideal. Too much pressure out there nowadays to be in a relationship. Why? If someone is happy on their own then live and let live.

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Ben
7 minutes ago, Asgardian said:

More people need to follow this ideal. Too much pressure out there nowadays to be in a relationship. Why? If someone is happy on their own then live and let live.

YES. 

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