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StarlessEclipse

My Goals For 2019

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StarlessEclipse

1. Get my mental health under control

I've basically been in a perpetual state of crisis since late 2016, after what can at best be described as a brief semi-reprieve from mid-2014 up until that point, before which I went through a period of even more severe depression and anxiety beginning with my granddad's death in late 2011. I've only just realised as I'm writing this that this shit has been going on almost uninterrupted for NEARLY A DECADE. ☹️ It cannot continue. I just want to regain some level of happiness and contentment. My life needs a radical overhaul, and that will be the sole purpose of everything I do this year. It's now or never.

2. Get physically fit

Due to a combination of depression, stress, insomnia and an inexcusably sedentary lifestyle, I'm looking rather less than my best, as well as generally feeling pretty lifeless and lethargic. This needs to change, and I'm confident that it will. Despite not being particularly strong, my physical endurance and perseverance would put most people to shame, I just need to stop being lazy and allowing mental illness to rule my life. This will begin next Monday.

3. Take steps toward some kind of outdoor career

Horticulture, agriculture... I don't care what it is or how hard I have to work, so long as it enables me to earn a living from being in and around nature on a regular basis. It's the only vocation that will keep me sane enough not to eventually take my own life. I've known that deep down for the better part of three years, but I've let myself be talked into pursuing other avenues by well-intentioned relatives who don't really know me as well as they think they do. It's ended in disaster three times now and taken a massive toll on my already fragile mental health. No more. I'm doing things my way, regardless of the consequences. I will no longer allow anyone to push me down a path I know will end fruitlessly. I have a plan and I'm sticking to it.

4. Cease all non-essential Internet use with the exception of Asperclick

With the exception of this forum, the Internet is fucking rancid these days. It used to be a welcome escape from everyday life, but times have changed. The decline of old-school forums in conjunction with mainstream social media becoming ever more toxic, sites like YouTube intentionally designed to be infuriating in the hope that users will spend more time just trying to make them tolerable again, the incessant barrage of pointless EU cookie notices which have done fuck all to quell the terrifyingly invasive tracking algorithms powerful enough to confound even the most conscientious privacy experts, the 24/7 corporate news cycle, the endless stream of abhorrent political situations I'm powerless to change, the all-pervading SJW vs. alt-right culture war shit, the lack of accountability and mob mentality that's destroying civil discourse worldwide, the overwhelming stench of dumbed-down superficiality... Who needs any of that? Who would EVER have signed up to this if they knew what they were getting themselves into? Other than the last bastion of value that is Asperclick, I'm gone. I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

5. Get some semblance of a social life

It doesn't have to be big or intense, but I would like something more than, well, nothing. At least a few people I can call friendly acquaintances would be nice. I don’t know, maybe I'll even find the confidence to chat to some people from here if what I imagine comes across as a profoundly unlikeable demeanour on the forum hasn't alienated just about everyone. I could even meet new people just by doing the other things on this list. Who knows...

Well, I think that's everything. Wish me luck.

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Heather

Good luck!  :) 

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collectingrocks

Sounds like an immense task but a good plan.

Hope everything works out well for you 😀

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StormCrow

I  guess my advice for the 2019 goals

for: 

#1. start Tai Chi Chuan. I've been playing "Tai Chi" for 16 years and its helped me not go insane. Now I'm on to teaching it to help others

#2. Actually Tai Chi for that also. 

#3. I use to do Land surveying, Always outside doing that. Plus you get to chop small trees with a machete if they block the light beam. 

#4. That's going to be hard. I'm always on the internet researching stuff. 

#5. Good luck with that. I haven;t really got any friends since I graduated High school. Collage I was just trying to pass classes. I did get to be the president of an Environmental Activist club though. 

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