Jump to content
JustGoofy

How can i make friends?

Recommended Posts

JustGoofy

How do you guys cope with the absence of friendships, ive got books, movies, anime that keep off from feeling it. Why cant i fit in society, why am i so odd and awkward? why cant anyone accept me and love me. Ive always wondered that why i never had any friends, its starting feel as if people hate me, despise me. Do you have any tips or links to appear normal and not be a defect that everyone ignores and pushes away...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
collectingrocks

Welcome to the forum :)

You are "normal" in the normal sense of the word but you probably consider yourself as "different" and perhaps socially awkward? Please don't consider yourself "defective"

If you try too hard to be just like everybody else, it makes things harder and causes more stress.

Try and be yourself - don't try and imitate others as your inadequacies will shine through more

I'm sure there are people who accept and love you (? family), perhaps they just don't show it in a way that you would like/expect

Do you know anyone who shares your interests. Can you join a local club?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JustGoofy
24 minutes ago, collectingrocks said:

Welcome to the forum :)

You are "normal" in the normal sense of the word but you probably consider yourself as "different" and perhaps socially awkward? Please don't consider yourself "defective"

If you try too hard to be just like everybody else, it makes things harder and causes more stress.

Try and be yourself - don't try and imitate others as your inadequacies will shine through more

I'm sure there are people who accept and love you (? family), perhaps they just don't show it in a way that you would like/expect

Do you know anyone who shares your interests. Can you join a local club?

Yes, they do but i feel as im not present for them but just invisible. Ive tried looking for clubs and ive found some art clubs but they just look at me as being different and they dont really approach me or even if i try they dont even talk to me. Im trying to find people with common interest but it feels as if they dont like people who talks about some amazing things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi

@JustGoofy Are they a different race than you? Because if they are, maybe they are racist or if they're a different class than you, maybe they are classist. I feel often times we may feel that it's because of us that people are rude, etc. when in reality, it might be them. Maybe those people are not open to new friendships or friendships period and that's why they close in on you? Or another explanation that has nothing to do with you but rather them. I say if you really want friends, don't be discouraged. Maybe you can find autistic meet ups near your area and make some friends that way or something along those lines?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JustGoofy
2 hours ago, RiRi said:

@JustGoofy Are they a different race than you? Because if they are, maybe they are racist or if they're a different class than you, maybe they are classist. I feel often times we may feel that it's because of us that people are rude, etc. when in reality, it might be them. Maybe those people are not open to new friendships or friendships period and that's why they close in on you? Or another explanation that has nothing to do with you but rather them. I say if you really want friends, don't be discouraged. Maybe you can find autistic meet ups near your area and make some friends that way or something along those lines?

Im brown skin colour. Maybe thats the reason. I could try asperger meetups but i dont know where i could find those

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi
58 minutes ago, JustGoofy said:

Im brown skin colour. Maybe thats the reason. I could try asperger meetups but i dont know where i could find those

@JustGoofy You can do a google search put something like autism meet ups near me or search autistic meet ups and your area as a google search. Just be careful and make sure they are legitimate. I tell you because I would do that. I have never gone to autistic meet ups but I know they exist as I have done research. You can also see if they have a day center for people with disabilities nearby where you live, maybe you can find out if you can go and take a visit. 

Are you formally diagnosed? or self diagnosis?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf

Be yourself and try not to worry about what people think of you. Try to be comfortable with who you are. When you are putting on a mask or facade to fit in, people can sense it and close down, or keep you at a distance because they don't see the real you. When they see the real you, they let their guard down and show their true selves, too. If you are unsure of yourself, then they will be unsure of you too. So really, the best thing is to try and relax and be yourself (more easily said than done, I know).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JustGoofy
12 hours ago, RiRi said:

@JustGoofy You can do a google search put something like autism meet ups near me or search autistic meet ups and your area as a google search. Just be careful and make sure they are legitimate. I tell you because I would do that. I have never gone to autistic meet ups but I know they exist as I have done research. You can also see if they have a day center for people with disabilities nearby where you live, maybe you can find out if you can go and take a visit. 

Are you formally diagnosed? or self diagnosis?

Im formally diagnosed but i was diagnosed late when i was 16-17 and my mom told me that i had it when i was 20. So it was too late

5 hours ago, Nesf said:

Be yourself and try not to worry about what people think of you. Try to be comfortable with who you are. When you are putting on a mask or facade to fit in, people can sense it and close down, or keep you at a distance because they don't see the real you. When they see the real you, they let their guard down and show their true selves, too. If you are unsure of yourself, then they will be unsure of you too. So really, the best thing is to try and relax and be yourself (more easily said than done, I know).

Im gonna do that. Ill be myself

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
StormCrow

Have you looked up groups on MeetUp (they have some groups on different interests)(is there MeetUp in Europe?)? 

There was some stuff I went to, but no new friends from it yet. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JustGoofy
On 2/12/2019 at 8:27 AM, StormCrow said:

Have you looked up groups on MeetUp (they have some groups on different interests)(is there MeetUp in Europe?)? 

There was some stuff I went to, but no new friends from it yet. 

I have, but i cant find any near my area.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.