Jump to content
RiRi

People Who Have Been Mean to You/Bullied You

Recommended Posts

RiRi

I think that in everyone's lives there exist people who acted as a bully or very mean person in our lives. Some just seem to do it because they get pleasure out of it, others, it might have been unintentional. But there are those that we know were mean intentionally and never once said, "I'm sorry." What do you do regarding those people? Do you keep a mental note saying something like, if you ever encounter this person again, "Don't talk to them." What would you do if you saw these bullies in person and they wanted to talk to you or if they ever want to talk to you? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Peridot

A lot of people are retarded. There was this woman who ruined someone's plushie when she was tipsy and she didn't remember at all. I guess that's called "blackout" when due to alcohol the memory just goes. Anyway, when confronted with video footage of her destroying said plushie she went "Hey wow, I actually did that. lol". A lot of people are just dumb but the people who know what they did and then come up to me make a big mistake doing so. I keep calm whilst ignoring them and walking away but if they were to insist then I'll just scare them away by attracting attention of the people around us. Bullies are cowards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Alice
5 hours ago, RiRi said:

I think that in everyone's lives there exist people who acted as a bully or very mean person in our lives. Some just seem to do it because they get pleasure out of it, others, it might have been unintentional. But there are those that we know were mean intentionally and never once said, "I'm sorry." What do you do regarding those people? Do you keep a mental note saying something like, if you ever encounter this person again, "Don't talk to them." What would you do if you saw these bullies in person and they wanted to talk to you or if they ever want to talk to you? 

I just write them off. No contact, no acknowledgement. I have blocked several family members and toxic people I used to know. I would just remove myself from the area or situation if I encountered them and happily hold my silence if spoken to. I dont owe anyone my time or courtesy if they cannot treat people with basic human dignity and respect

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Charlie Brown

I've been around a while and spent 50 years of that not knowing I was neurodiverse. My school years were a nightmare as bullying was the 'norm', so I skipped school as much as possible. All my studying and degrees were achieved 17+ at my own speed in my own time and choice. The bullying didn't stop when school ended, it just changed its face in the workplace becoming less overt. Because of that, I became self-employed and basically did as @Alice said both towards employees, customers, and family.

10 hours ago, RiRi said:

"What would you do if you saw these bullies in person and they wanted to talk to you or if they ever want to talk to you? 

This did happen some years ago, I had joined a site called 'Friends Reunited' searching for an old friend of mine. I receive an email from one of the bullies from my school. It read along the lines of "Wow, can't believe I found you, remember me ..... How do you feel about meeting up?". I sent a long reply outlining how he had terrorised me for 5 years, the fear, the pain, and the anguish, I held nothing back. His reply was "We were kids dude", he had no concept of what his actions had wrought. Needless to say, we didn't meet up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sanctuary

Some people treat others badly due to selfishness or thoughtlessness, others do so very deliberately in order to make someone upset - bullying. Both are very difficult to experience but to deliberately want to hurt another person is of another order. Many people have been bullied (and it's sadly all too common among those with ASD) but scarcely anyone admits to being a bully. In common with all bad behaviour though it is possible for some people to change. Some bullying results from immaturity, some from "going along with the crowd" and when that person gets older or moves into a new situation their behaviour can change for the better. For example when I started teaching one of my classes was an absolute nightmare. Most of the students treated me badly but I distinctly recall overhearing one of them encouraging another student to swear at me and aside from this incident he certainly gave me a lot of trouble. A couple of years later I encountered him again when he was a sixth-form student (in the UK those students who had decided to stay in school for higher qualifications). He was absolutely fine and we got on really well and I was pleased we were able to come together again successfully. I suppose I could have referred back to his earlier behaviour but felt it was better to start afresh and in that instance it worked. I had similar experiences with other students who changed for the better once they reached the sixth-form. Sometimes we need to start again with a clean slate and see how someone behaves. Of course if someone continues to behave badly that becomes a different matter and needs to be challenged. in some cases so much hurt has been done that it's impossible to try to have a clean slate and' it's better to avoid each other.

I have found in other instances where I've encountered bad behaviour that while it needs to be challenged at the time once it's been resolved it's best to start afresh with that person and avoid bearing grudges, hard though that can be. Often this does work but if the same behaviour recurs it's very worrying and a tougher response is needed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf

Yes, my older sister is such a person. I very rarely talk to her, she is simply not a part of my life. I did try to reconcile, but it didn't really work, I'm too easily triggered and all the negative feeling comes back again - doesn't work. Also, a member of my partner's family. I block people like that and stop all contact, I need to protect myself. As long as they aren't in my life, they can't do me any harm. I'm not going to open myself up to abuse again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi

For me, it varies from case to case but I've had internet bullies, some I know what they look like so if I were ever to encounter them in person, I could be polite if I have to but I would not give them my time or attention. If they try to talk to me, I'd probably ignore them. I believe that bullying behavior should always be frowned upon. Some bullying for me, was so severe that I felt like killing myself. I believe that can't be forgiven. Some people are just crazy in nature like that and I wouldn't want that type of person in my life. Who's to know whether these people actually have other motives to their friendship? If karma exists, then it would hit them eventually. 

I actually don't get people who have been a bully to someone and then they want to be friends again. Well, sometimes it's a given if the bullied person became famous or something, but other times, why? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi
18 hours ago, Charlie Brown said:

This did happen some years ago, I had joined a site called 'Friends Reunited' searching for an old friend of mine. I receive an email from one of the bullies from my school. It read along the lines of "Wow, can't believe I found you, remember me ..... How do you feel about meeting up?". I sent a long reply outlining how he had terrorised me for 5 years, the fear, the pain, and the anguish, I held nothing back. His reply was "We were kids dude", he had no concept of what his actions had wrought. Needless to say, we didn't meet up.

That sucks when a person causes so much damage to you and they don't even realize or at least acknowledge it or acknowledge it to someone else if they don't want to hurt their ego or feel like they are too good to acknowledge it. 

Edited by RiRi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sanctuary

Very few people admit to bullying others and some of those who do try to make light of it ("just a phase", "didn't mean any harm", etc). Occasionally there is more of an attempt at an apology but it's not truly sincere and may be done just to win the favour of the bullied person, to escape punishment or is otherwise used in a manipulative way. Much less commonly a one-time bully is genuinely ashamed of their actions and makes a sincere, unforced, unmanipulative apology and tries hard to make amends. It's not always easy to work out whether the supposed change in their behaviour / apology is genuine but it can occur. This can apply to other examples of bad behaviour and it takes a truly reflective and principled person to genuinely regret their actions. There can be a benefit from accepting this genuine reform but also the offender needs to realise he or she cannot expect forgiveness or a second chance and if that isn't granted they don't then bear a grudge but simply move on, making sure they don't offend again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ben

A confident, self-assured person will NEVER need to bully someone. It's ALWAYS those with a chip on their shoulder (over something) that feel the need to mow people down.

 

The more people you bury, the more you'll 'appear' to stand out and have confidence. The original problem is still there, you've just made everyone else around you miserable. It's an illusion, obviously. And an incredibly lazy way to approach life. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.