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AspergerSimpleLife

I’m 25 and never had a girlfriend, should I consider moving?

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AspergerSimpleLife

This is something I struggled with my whole life and I believe it’s based on my current location, where I live with parents. I’m considering moving for work to a more conservative place where people are kinder and women are more apt to dating guys with little or no relationship experience.

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AspergerSimpleLife

What do you think?

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Peridot
7 hours ago, AspergerSimpleLife said:

This is something I struggled with my whole life and I believe it’s based on my current location, where I live with parents. I’m considering moving for work to a more conservative place where people are kinder and women are more apt to dating guys with little or no relationship experience.

Unkind women who aren't interested in dating men without relationship experience you may find everywhere. But you'll also find women everywhere who fit the opposite description, I'm sure.

There's this movie called "The birds". I believe it's from the 1960's. spoiler alert It's about this city that gets attacked by swarms of murderous birds. There's an alternate ending where they escape from the dangerous birds and drive to another city and they hope they're now safe(r) but when they arrive at the other city they see that that place is also swarming with birds. It's pretty dark. But interesting... 🤔/spoiler alert

The grass is always greener… Of the currently still ongoing migrant crisis (of which I'm sure you are aware) some people say that the migrants "just want a better life for themselves". Without going off on a tangent when it comes to this topic (i.e. the topic of the migrant crisis) I'll say that I am critical of this mentality (which I believe only a percentage of the migrants display). I think that if you want a better quality of life then you need to put work in. Work on yourself. Work on your country. To just split and go some place else I see as kind of taking the easy route.

Wherever you are, you are. And it all starts with you, I'd say. But if you feel the odd man out then there's something to be said for splitting. In the past I've considered migrating to another country. The thought crossed my mind as I just felt like a non-typical Dutchman. I felt like I e.g. had a youthfulness and appreciation of imagination that I all too often didn't see around me. I felt out of place. Like there was a legit mismatch. I still feel that way to an extent but less so than earlier in my life.

An Albanian woman I heard say that it's normal in her culture for people to live with their parents until they are thirty. I'm sure you're not Albanian and that there aren't many Albanian women either where you are now or where you aim to move to. So I think you need to move out on you're own, dude. Spread your wings and fly. You aren't going to meet many women at your parent's house.

Edited by Peridot

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Ben

You have to ask yourself WHY you want one. Is it for personal validation? Or do you actually WANT the person themselves? 

The latter being the ONLY reason to get into a relationship in my opinion. The 'idea' of a girlfriend is no reason to seek one. 

Edited by Ben

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Dr-David-Banner

I noticed all my female friends have boyfriends who plain surprised me. They seemed somehow less intelligent than their female partners, less communicative, very macho (as opposed to "arty"). I had to ask if somehow women are choosing their partners selectively along social and employment requirements. Put simply, men who can go out and fit in and be accepted so they can work and then make a family. Given women these days do more retail work or office and service, men need to be able to fit in at building sites or warehouses and factories. So I view dating these days with more skepticism. What really gave me a reality check was the time I got flooded by phone calls by Georgian, Ukranian and Russian women. I had put a sort of singles advert in a Russian newspaper and would normally get a couple of replies. Then when Brexit happened my market value rocketed. People suddenly wanted to get married quick. I was flooded with calls and photos. It's not for me at all. I just dislike being used or using others. 

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AspergerSimpleLife
On 4/4/2019 at 7:22 AM, Ben said:

You have to ask yourself WHY you want one. Is it for personal validation? Or do you actually WANT the person themselves? 

The latter being the ONLY reason to get into a relationship in my opinion. The 'idea' of a girlfriend is no reason to seek one. 

It’s always the latter reason. Sometimes being in a relationship is all that I have to live for. I’m out of college and all the people and friends I met there don’t talk anymore. This is coming from how I FEEL. I need and DESIRE someone in my life because of the emptiness that currently exists. In fact, I regret going to a school with a very liberal atmosphere where it was very difficult to find a relationship since I’m not interested in hooking up. 

If I had the choice 5 years ago, I would’ve chosen a conservative Christian school (like Bob Jones in SC) where courting to engagement is strictly encouraged by graduation semester, even if the school isn’t nationally accredited. Money isn’t everything, so I’d be content with gradually working towards an income just to get by. I tend to laugh at some acquaintances who are making HUGE bucks (some in six figures) by opening up businesses or working in senior positions, but they’re not interested in marriage. Like, all that money isn’t going to say “I love you” when you go to bed.

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