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ancus

ADHD

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ancus

Does anyone else have ADHD?  I was placed in special behavior classes and they traumatized me pretty bad.  Eventually I got out and I also stopped taking my medicine.  I put myself through ten years of hell.  I won't go into details but after I started on my Focalin I've been doing a lot better.   I've been learning about executive dysfunction on facebook and have  made some friends. 

I don't meet a lot of people who talk about having similar childhood experiences.  People either have a single diagnosis, or they're diagnosed with something else, or they weren't diagnosed until they were adults.  And I really don't meet many people from Tennessee online, and none from my area. 

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Ace

I was diagnosed with ADD before Asperger's but I guess it was not super severe to warrant special classes. I was put on meds though which helped with getting my work done/paying attention to class, but made me way more quiet than I already was. It also destroyed my appetite and now that I think about it probably ruined my ability to fall asleep. Off them I always felt more myself and overall better but was drowsy and hungry all the time. I eventually wanted myself off them junior year in high school. I was later told ADD is a common misdiagnosis for Asperger's considering when my mind runs on about random things it probably just looks like I'm not paying attention (which I essentially wasn't)

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Ace

It sounds like you had it a lot worse than me though. Is there any side effects to the Focalin? I started on concerta but didn't work well, then was on Adderall for quite a while. I think I built a tolerance to it or something because I ended up on Vyvanse for the last few years I took meds. I either grew out of it or better handled it and that's why I justified going off them. Also I would like to feel as "natural" as I can if you know what I mean. 

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ancus
5 hours ago, Ace said:

I was diagnosed with ADD before Asperger's but I guess it was not super severe to warrant special classes. I was put on meds though which helped with getting my work done/paying attention to class, but made me way more quiet than I already was. It also destroyed my appetite and now that I think about it probably ruined my ability to fall asleep. Off them I always felt more myself and overall better but was drowsy and hungry all the time. I eventually wanted myself off them junior year in high school. I was later told ADD is a common misdiagnosis for Asperger's considering when my mind runs on about random things it probably just looks like I'm not paying attention (which I essentially wasn't)

It was a punishment imposed by the school system for leaving the classroom without asking.  Also for having a diagnosis.  They threatened my parents with involuntarily institutionalizing me although they actually didn't have any authority to do that.  My mom had to teach herself disability law.  I also have a sister with down syndrome and she had to fight the whole time we were in public school to keep us in classes.   They always refused to comply with any reasonable accommodations and had to be constantly threatened for the simplest goddamn thing.  Eventually I started going to a more laid-back private school, and I definitely liked it there, but that's where I picked up a hobby of getting high and drunk and I didn't want to engage with the psych system or with any kind of real mental health and ablism in the mental health system which is real also didn't help.  Eventually I got counselling for alcoholism and I've been sober 7 years now.  I started back on my meds once betsy devoss got confirmed as sec education.  Also that rotten man jeff sessions.  Honestly I am fed up with the entire US political system and I've been putting most of my focus on changing it. 

 

1 hour ago, Ace said:

It sounds like you had it a lot worse than me though. Is there any side effects to the Focalin? I started on concerta but didn't work well, then was on Adderall for quite a while. I think I built a tolerance to it or something because I ended up on Vyvanse for the last few years I took meds. I either grew out of it or better handled it and that's why I justified going off them. Also I would like to feel as "natural" as I can if you know what I mean. 

 

I'm on the lowest to second-lowest dose possible right now, because when I started with the adult version (20 mg extended release) I felt way too amped and I was VERY VERY MOTIVATED and I felt a little out of control.  So I went down to 5 mg extended, and also 5 mg instant, and I've been doing okay on them.  Sometimes (very rarely) I will double up, or more often (but still rarely) I'll use one of each.  I still spend a lot of time unmedicated, but if I'm going to be out with people I need to have some meds in my system or I won't be able to keep track of conversations.  And they help me watch movies and shows and I read and write better when I'm on them.  I get more chores done.  Etc. 

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Ace
8 hours ago, ancus said:

Eventually I got counselling for alcoholism and I've been sober 7 years now.

That's good to hear. Was it addiction or a coping mechanism? My brother, who as far as we know is an NT, has an adictive personality and has been doing pot and drinking since he was about 15. He is still underage just having turned 20 but his actions are already catching up to him. He barely completed 2 semesters in college and dropped out. He then said he wanted to join the military but that was over a year ago. He keeps switching up which branch and has settled on Air Force but they don't want him because he tested positive for pot. So now he has to wait until October to retest. Who knows if he will pass. Sorry to get side tracked.

8 hours ago, ancus said:

Honestly I am fed up with the entire US political system and I've been putting most of my focus on changing it.

Yes, I feel the same. Seems to me there is just a bunch of babbling bafoons in charge of us. I've always thought the public school system was messed up and only serves some people well. Even for NTs it doesn't serve most of them very well. How so are you trying to change the political system?

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ancus
2 hours ago, Ace said:

That's good to hear. Was it addiction or a coping mechanism?

I don't know how to answer that really.  During counselling we were shown a video where a pediatrician was sharing information he remembered second-hand from an unnamed neurologist friend.  He specifically said he chose to believe it because it made him feel better.  It alleged that some people just have a disposition to becoming addicted, which isn't an unusual claim.   I pointed out the seriously broken sourcing and the reason he himself gave for believing it but no one took me seriously.  According to articles I've read later on, the research just isn't that good.  We know that addicted people's brains look different from people without addictions but we have absolutely no data on brains that later become addicted.  It's hard to imagine how one would even collect that sort of data.  Let alone how to make sure that it was collected in a meaningful way.  It also pointed out that anti-addiction drugs exist and have very good track records where used, although they aren't taken seriously in the US, and that traditional methods of addiction treatment--specifically, AA--have a terrible track record, though they are the only ones USians seem to trust.  

I sometimes miss drinking because I want to skip a particular time period.  Because I'm having flash-backs.  Because my body hurts.  Because there's something I'm waiting for and I'm impatient.  During my drinking days: I was starting to realise I was queer and my conservative upbringing made me uncomfortable with that.  I was mourning the death of a pet, which only hurts more because people don't take it seriously as a form of grief.  I was coming to terms with shocking realisations about my disability--I used to think of myself as slightly superhuman, and I kinda am, but not in the same way.  I didn't know how to interact with other humans without being online. 

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ancus
2 hours ago, Ace said:

Yes, I feel the same. Seems to me there is just a bunch of babbling bafoons in charge of us. I've always thought the public school system was messed up and only serves some people well. Even for NTs it doesn't serve most of them very well. How so are you trying to change the political system?

I'm trying to get proportional representation in my local community, with the goal of scaling up to the state and federal government.  I'll post another thread about it in Moot Point since it's the politics forum. 

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