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Willow

Parents Pushing for a Diagnosis

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Willow

I've seen it on a few Asperger/Autism forums - a parent will be worried sick about their child or teenager, but when they ask other people/school/GP etc no one seems too concerned but they continue to push; even though maybe the child/teen is coping, intelligent and happy. 

For me, I needed a diagnosis because there was some support I needed and I also needed to prove to my school why I had messed up the course I was on and would like to start it again. But, a lot of the time, with these children/teens who aren't struggling - is it worth putting them through the process of getting assessed etc, just because you want to? Surely this will make them feel sad/different, where before they were okay. 

I don't know - I just feel that sometimes, parents are pushing for a diagnosis, for diagnosis sake. :(

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Erythrura

If the child/teen shows no impairment in functioning, i.e. has meaningful peer relationships, is not struggling in other areas such as school, etc., then there is no need for a diagnosis (and no competent shrink would make a diagnosis, as the criterion, 'impairment in functioning' would not be fulfilled).

 

The whole point of a diagnosis is that it is used by medical professionals to be able to treat/provide services for an issue that impacts on a person's quality of life. Many people seem to treat Asperger's like it's a 'personality type' rather than an autism spectrum disorder. 

 

However, the new DSM criteria features something that I think is a very good inclusion; 'symptoms may not fully manifest until demands exceed capacity'. Eg., coping fine throughout primary/elementary school due to lack of environmental stressors, being able to emulate peers or use intelligence to cope, or having supportive friends (for example, Attwood mentioned girls often having 'motherly' friends who try to include them and teach them social skills) etc., but once reaching high school or even college, circumstances change - independence and time-management skills are required, social situations and relationships suddenly become more complex, stressors increase and the limited coping strategies that a person learned earlier in life will no longer help them. 

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Ben

It get's my back up to be honest. I'm very proud of my Aspergers, and some people really talk bad about it, making it out to be some kind of curse and label it as something negative. Really puts a bee in my bonnet. 

 

If you want to be negative fine, but don't bring aspergers into it. 

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Erythrura
It get's my back up to be honest. I'm very proud of my Aspergers, and some people really talk bad about it, making it out to be some kind of curse and label it as something negative. Really puts a bee in my bonnet. 

 

If you want to be negative fine, but don't bring aspergers into it. 

I'm not sure who that was aimed at (probably me, though), but AS technically is in the DSM (hence it is a mental disorder and mental disorders are deemed negative). However, homosexuality was also once in the DSM, and is clearly not a mental disorder or a negative thing. As Asperger's cannot be 'developed' and is a part of who we are, perhaps society shouldn't treat it as if it is a problem that should be cured. 

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Willow
I'm not sure who that was aimed at (probably me, though), but AS technically is in the DSM (hence it is a mental disorder and mental disorders are deemed negative). However, homosexuality was also once in the DSM, and is clearly not a mental disorder or a negative thing. As Asperger's cannot be 'developed' and is a part of who we are, perhaps society shouldn't treat it as if it is a problem that should be cured. 

I think he meant to aim it at the parents I was speaking about in my original post.

 

The new DSM including 'symptoms may not fully manifest until demands exceed capacity' I think is such a good move - thanks for including that info :)

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Ben
I'm not sure who that was aimed at (probably me, though)

 

I would have to be the fastest reader, and poster in history to of aimed that at you. I posted 20 seconds after you.....

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iggy

If you have aspergers, however mild then I would think you would notice that you are different. Not knowing why that is could make anyone feel isolated or depressed because they think they're a freak, when its just the way they are thinking about the world.

If a parent is going to push for a diagnosis, I think that is ok because as has already been mentioned just because the person is coping now doesn't mean in later life they will as well. Knowing for sure that the suspicions are real can help people to either learn to cope or help the parent realise that if their child is on the spectrum it doesn't mean they fit into the criteria and help to reduce overprotective parenting.

I understand where you are coming from (willow) but I know if my mum hadn't pushed a diagnosis through when she realised I had AS, my life would not be as controlled as it is, because I wouldn't have had the help to make the step between primary and secondary school, definitely. (Until then, I didn't really feel that different/had mild outward symptoms really.

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Erythrura
I would have to be the fastest reader, and poster in history to of aimed that at you. I posted 20 seconds after you.....

lol. Sorry, I didn't see that  :lol:

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Willow
If you have aspergers, however mild then I would think you would notice that you are different. Not knowing why that is could make anyone feel isolated or depressed because they think they're a freak, when its just the way they are thinking about the world. If a parent is going to push for a diagnosis, I think that is ok because as has already been mentioned just because the person is coping now doesn't mean in later life they will as well. Knowing for sure that the suspicions are real can help people to either learn to cope or help the parent realise that if their child is on the spectrum it doesn't mean they fit into the criteria and help to reduce overprotective parenting. I understand where you are coming from (willow) but I know if my mum hadn't pushed a diagnosis through when she realised I had AS, my life would not be as controlled as it is, because I wouldn't have had the help to make the step between primary and secondary school, definitely. (Until then, I didn't really feel that different/had mild outward symptoms really.

Yeah I know. Sometimes it seems like even the kid doesn't have any issues - thinking they're different or otherwise. And it's worse when the parent wraps the child in bubble wrap, so to speak. I had a friend whose Mum had pushed the diagnosis as a child and sent him to all the special schools and really had him tied to her apron strings. It had been detrimental to his development and transition from teen to adult. It was such a shame to see him be so afraid of everything and so unable to do things because his Mum would just step in before there was even a problem and do it for him. :(

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Annaflower

As a parent myself I am "pushing" for a diagnosis for my teenaged (13) daughter in order for her to have an explanation for why she finds friendships and anger management so hard. She gets so frustrated and upset when people at school tease and bully her because she is different or "weird". I want her to have something tangible to hold on to so she knows it's not her fault. I struggle everyday to remember that her difficult behaviour is not on purpose to wind me up! So I think a diagnosis would help me too. I also have a hard time knowing how much freedom to give her as she gets older. Her peers are able to go out to town on their own or in groups but I don't feel my daughter has the street sense to do this without ending up in a bad situation. We have tried letting her go out before but she ends up getting into fights and stuff. I have worked hard over the last year to not step in and help her with stuff and to let her figure it out but I see her struggling and my natural instinct is to make it easier for her. I am better than I was! I am finding it so helpful to hear everyone on here talking about their experiences as it is giving me a view inside what my daughter must be thinking and feeling. She tries very hard to open up to me and we do talk through her troubles every day but sometimes I just wish I could spend an hour in her head to better understand her thought processes. Sorry to ramble on! Also I don't seem to be able to put in paragraphs on here on my iPad so it's all just one big block!

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