Jump to content
Willow

Parents Pushing for a Diagnosis

Recommended Posts

Willow
As a parent myself I am "pushing" for a diagnosis for my teenaged (13) daughter in order for her to have an explanation for why she finds friendships and anger management so hard. She gets so frustrated and upset when people at school tease and bully her because she is different or "weird". I want her to have something tangible to hold on to so she knows it's not her fault. I struggle everyday to remember that her difficult behaviour is not on purpose to wind me up! So I think a diagnosis would help me too. I also have a hard time knowing how much freedom to give her as she gets older. Her peers are able to go out to town on their own or in groups but I don't feel my daughter has the street sense to do this without ending up in a bad situation. We have tried letting her go out before but she ends up getting into fights and stuff. I have worked hard over the last year to not step in and help her with stuff and to let her figure it out but I see her struggling and my natural instinct is to make it easier for her. I am better than I was! I am finding it so helpful to hear everyone on here talking about their experiences as it is giving me a view inside what my daughter must be thinking and feeling. She tries very hard to open up to me and we do talk through her troubles every day but sometimes I just wish I could spend an hour in her head to better understand her thought processes. Sorry to ramble on! Also I don't seem to be able to put in paragraphs on here on my iPad so it's all just one big block!

See it's okay to push for a diagnosis when your child is having these issues - and I hope you get one because it sounds like it will help :)

I hope you understand that I didn't mean all parents that push for one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Annaflower
See it's okay to push for a diagnosis when your child is having these issues - and I hope you get one because it sounds like it will help :)

I hope you understand that I didn't mean all parents that push for one.

Totally understand! I didn't mean to sound argumentative so sorry if I did x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Willow
Totally understand! I didn't mean to sound argumentative so sorry if I did x

No it's fine, you didn't I was just making sure :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
mary

I agree with your sentiments Willow.  I wonder if part of it is just so that they can say 'oh, that's why my child is this way'.  If you suspect it and your child is ok and not experiencing difficulties I'd hazard a guess it's probably better to just keep a somewhat watchful eye on them in case any problems present themselves as they get older.  Being over zealous could possibly hinder the child more.

 

I say this, although even though my mother always knew I was different she had nothing tangible because the diagnosis didn't really exist when I was a kid.  Do I think it's hindered me not knowing until now?  I don't know... Perhaps in the sense that with the right support things might have been different, but that's not to say things were bad.

 

If a child experiences difficulties in any particular sense then I think perhaps it is worth pushing for a diagnosis if support is available for those particular issues.  Anything to make a child's life easier when they're going through school and high school.  However, a diagnosis just for the sake of it?  No, I don't think that's the best thing as it may alienate the child even further, esp if they don't outwardly show signs amongst their peers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lani

As a parent myself of a child with asc I never pushed for. Diagnosis it was just given to us after a very long process my son is only 4 nearly 5 but yes I have pushed for. Statement of special educational needs because I know my son and know that this is what he needs to get the right support he's going to a specialist school because I know he has no concentration levels and a smaller class will benefit him better to help him to learn to the best of his ability he's very smart dispite his difficulties so he can achieve what he can in this life parents just want the best for their children whether they have extra needs or not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mark
I'm not sure who that was aimed at (probably me, though), but AS technically is in the DSM (hence it is a mental disorder and mental disorders are deemed negative). However, homosexuality was also once in the DSM, and is clearly not a mental disorder or a negative thing. As Asperger's cannot be 'developed' and is a part of who we are, perhaps society shouldn't treat it as if it is a problem that should be cured. 

Technicality it is not a mental disorder but a neurological syndrome.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Mark

I have also heard of the opposite, schools pushing for a diagnosis and the parents denying it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Willow
I have also heard of the opposite, schools pushing for a diagnosis and the parents denying it.

Yeah - which would probably have more of a negative impact on the child :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Aspergirl

I am pushing for a diagnosis for Ellie but only because she struggles so much and is behind at school. The school don't really seem to want to get involved. They called us in when she was having behaviour problems and was being disruptive to the class, however as soon as that was sorted they hardly communicate with us and I have to push for every meeting, conversation, extra provision. They won't even put her on School Action at the moment and she quite obviously has SEN. We have an extensive OT report of her sensory needs and an ADHD diagnosis so far. I have spoken today with the local LEA and parent partnership service and they are going to help. It is just a particular school which has still got a lot to learn about ASDs and they just don't understand it at all. It is a village school which is about 10 years behind everyone else!

 

But I do agree that some parents take it too far. I hope I am not one of those parents, I just feel that every 'good' parent wants what is best for their child. Whatever their perception of that may be.

 

For some maybe it is so that they can shun the blame, but is that so bad to not want to be judged and hated by other parents for your child's aloof behaviour and lack of social skills. The child may be oblivious but it is still having a negative impact on them if no-one understands them.

 

Sorry if im being a bit touchy, it's just that this topic is quite raw at the moment as it is where we are in our journey.

 

Lottie x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Aspergirl
If the child/teen shows no impairment in functioning, i.e. has meaningful peer relationships, is not struggling in other areas such as school, etc., then there is no need for a diagnosis (and no competent shrink would make a diagnosis, as the criterion, 'impairment in functioning' would not be fulfilled).

 

The whole point of a diagnosis is that it is used by medical professionals to be able to treat/provide services for an issue that impacts on a person's quality of life. Many people seem to treat Asperger's like it's a 'personality type' rather than an autism spectrum disorder. 

 

However, the new DSM criteria features something that I think is a very good inclusion; 'symptoms may not fully manifest until demands exceed capacity'. Eg., coping fine throughout primary/elementary school due to lack of environmental stressors, being able to emulate peers or use intelligence to cope, or having supportive friends (for example, Attwood mentioned girls often having 'motherly' friends who try to include them and teach them social skills) etc., but once reaching high school or even college, circumstances change - independence and time-management skills are required, social situations and relationships suddenly become more complex, stressors increase and the limited coping strategies that a person learned earlier in life will no longer help them. 

 

Very good point made, I think I wasn't impaired as such until maybe my final year of primary and the transition to secondary. That is where all my problems started.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.